And it reinforces a belief that you’re defective or unworthy. So, if you want to break free from codependency, it’s important to recognize when you’re in a codependent relationship. In a similar vein, a codependent partner may have an extremely difficult time saying no to you. According to Dr. Martinez, this is because codependents tend to have a poor sense of personal boundaries. If you’ve ever noticed that your relationship feels imbalanced, read on for some common signs that your partner is codependent. A codependent relationship often begins with one person putting their partner’s needs above all else — including their own needs, interests, and independence.

Example of codependency in a romantic relationship

Let’s say you notice that your partner shuts down during fights. Due to your own empathy, you may understand why this behavior is happening. Perhaps your partner previously shared with you that she witnessed her parents fighting a lot when she was a kid, which was distressing and scary for her. It’s not always easy to recognize when you are in a codependent relationship.

Psych Central does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Eventually, the exaggeration of their self-importance can spur folks with narcissism to take and take, without giving anything in return. Narcissism is different from other disorders because most of the traits are acted upon or solicited from others. In other words, it typically requires a “subject” rather than something that happens when you’re on your own. Hack Spirit is one of the leading authorities providing practical and accessible relationship advice.

They play on their partner’s emotions, using guilt, shame, or embarrassment to control their actions. When this happens, you should let them know right away that their behavior is unacceptable. If you’re codependent you’ll likely refuse to do this, thereby subjecting yourself to unfair treatment while enabling their substance abuse in yet another way.

Narcissist and Codependent Relationship Survival Guide

Unfortunately, the behaviors you exhibit in your attempts to be helpful may only reinforce the addiction. A person with a substance use disorder must accept responsibility for their plight, and if neither of you approaches the addiction with this understanding, their chances of recovery will be hindered. When you move from the mentality of wanting your partner to be happy to needing your partner to be happy, this is when it’s important to take a step back and look at what’s going on.

This circular relationship is the basis of what experts refer to when they describe the “cycle” of codependency. There is much more to this term than everyday clinginess. Codependent relationships are far more extreme than this. A person who is codependent will plan their entire life around pleasing the other person, or the enabler. It’s all in an effort to take responsibility for people and rescue them, notes Atkins. This is why codependent people are often attracted to those who have addictions, like drinking or gambling.

We feel “not good enough” and find partners who can fit into that emotional chasm and give us that drip of emotional morphine that we’ve become hooked on. Do you stress out over whether or not someone has their read receipts on? Do you check your phone every couple of minutes to see if they’ve reached out to you? Codependent relationships are so symbiotic that it can be hard to identify when it’s happening. When power dynamics are flipped, and one person’s needs and desires take precedent over another’s, it can feel mutually beneficial at first. It’s nice knowing you’re being supportive and it feels positive knowing you’re contributing to someone else’s success and happiness.

Learning to handle your own anxieties can be beneficial in building a healthy, interdependent relationship. Sacrificing your own needs for the other person in a codependent relationship can lead to dysfunctional or even abusive behavior. But there are ways to make changes and cultivate healthier relationships. The profiles of a narcissist and a codependent person fit together in a relationship like pieces of a jigsaw puzzle. They are, literally, made-for-each-other kinds of personalities. Being in a healthy relationship with someone with bipolar disorder requires not only careful management of their illness, but also setting aside time to take good care of yourself.

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If I organically and naturally am challenged by someone, if my curiosity of them and acceptance of who I am leads me to discover something new in myself – that is what I am talking about. During episodes of depression, your partner may avoid sexual contact altogether. This can be confusing or feel like rejection, especially if your partner recently desired lots of sexual activity during a manic or hypomanic period. Many medications for bipolar disorder can also lower sex drive. The key to your partner’s successful management of the illness is a commitment to continuing treatment and ongoing communication with their psychiatrist.

But when your partner is dealing with a substance abuse problem, the last thing they need is someone flattering them, catering to them, or refusing to confront them. What they need is honesty, which you’ll struggle to provide if you let your codependency stay in control. It frequently has its origins in dysfunctional homes, where codependent behavior warps the relationship between parents or between parents and their children.

Of course, in any relationship, you want to care for your partner. But taking on too much responsibility for their well-being is another sign of codependency. “In order to feel in control and ‘okay,’ you look to manage and take care of your partner’s behavior,” says Jane Greer, PhD, author of What About Me? Stop Selfishness From Ruining Your Relationship, and New York-based relationship expert.

Use all their time and energy to give their partner everything they ask for. “One person is doing the loving and caring in the relationship, and the other is taking, taking, taking and not giving back,” says Atkins. Amy Morin, LCSW, is the Editor-in-Chief of Verywell Mind. She’s also a licensed clinical social worker, psychotherapist, and international bestselling author.